As I was preparing a turkey sandwich for my Son, I found myself receiving the usual instructions. “Cut the crusts off please” he asked. I sighed. Really? 5-years old and we’re still doing this. Instead of arguing with him I find myself engaging in passive aggressive behavior. I cut the crusts off, and when he’s not looking, I place the crust remnants inside the sandwich. It’s silly, but it’s validation that he can’t even taste the crust.
It also got me thinking about the same feeling I would have at work sometimes. Pouring hours into a project plan would typically result in no one reading it. I used to hide ridiculous tasks inside project schedules to see if anyone would actually read them.
Thinking back I started to wonder, am I liar, or am I simply finding ways to survive the day? Fearing I was alone in this behavior I asked my social connections to share their work and parental confessions. As you’ll see, most were much more forthcoming about their parental lies.
“Over 7 years ago I was well over 100% for the year and my boss wanted to see my pipeline on a spread sheet so I named all the law firms after the players on the 1985 KC Royals team, then 3 months later I listed guys I grew up playing basketball with. She never caught me.”
“I was required at one point in my career to file a weekly activity report as a product manager. It had to be at least two pages long (the longer the better as my manager would gather our departments reports together into an impressive 20+ page report) and send it around every Friday night. On every single weekly report for over a year, buried deep in the middle of the third page, I wrote the sentence “Anyone who reads this sentence and brings me this report to me or e-mails me within 72 hours of right now (date/time inserted) I will gladly pay them $20 and buy them lunch.” In over a year of having to write these weekly reports no one ever once asked for the $20 or the free lunch. My friends and I started calling the weekly reports our TPS Reports.”
“We have an IT person who buries ridiculous web content in the test environment. Made me giggle! I would catch it and email him back with funny stuff in my responses. We so often end up tuning down things we read because of the fast and furious pace we have to keep. Once in a while, I need a reminder to slow down and pay attention.”
“I let my kids watch PG 13 movies as long as they promise not to repeat the cuss words. I just don’t have the energy to battle such a trivial thing as cuss words in movies.”
“I concealed cooked onions in my son’s spaghetti sauce for years. Finely chopped, they are practically invisible.”
“I am sick and guilty of giving my 3 yr old fun dip this morning for breakfast.”
“My Son is a self proclaimed vegetarian – who eats bacon. (Aka The baconarian). When he asks where bacon comes from we say bacon. We tell everyone who visits if he starts talking about bacon it comes from bacon. We often call it bacon-bacon because turkey-bacon comes from turkey.”
“I put sweet echo aces drops in my Daughter’s milk because she won’t take vitamins . She thinks milk without it tastes funny. Little lies for a good cause.”
“I tell my Daughter places are closed when I just don’t want to deal with the “but why can’t we go to toys r us right now?”, or some other place.”
“My kids are allergic to penicillin, so anything that I don’t want them to eat has penicillin in it.”
“Sometimes we tell my Daughter that a restaurant doesn’t serve chocolate milk because we don’t want her to have the sugar.”
“It’s against the law to stay up after 8:30 on a school night.” So there.”
“It’s your FAVORITE! Or “I have to see you take 3-bites” and look away as the fork goes in the mouth. Before you know it, the plate of food is nearly eaten ’cause Mommy didn’t SEE you eat it!”
I think you’ll agree that these confessions equate to survival. What are your confessions?
You know the buzzwords; inbound, outbound, content, demand gen, lead gen, martech, social media, account-based, advocacy, customer success, sales enablement, and analytics.She studies it, plans it, executes it, experiments with it, and loves it.
Through discovery, creation, and innovation she's learned to say "Yes, And".Like business, her career is one big improvisational act.
She leads all aspects of the brand and culture, developing and executing a clearly defined, integrated marketing communications strategy.Marilyn is responsible for planning, organizing, staffing, training, and managing all marketing functions to achieve objectives of growth, awareness, customer success and making work better.
Marilyn exists to empower sales and support the customer. When not geeking out over marketing analytics, she can be found daydreaming about her unrealized dream as a professional wrestler with the WWE.
Latest posts by Marilyn Cox (see all)
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